Top Ten Worst Christmas Songs Ever

So, my friend Katie inspired me to write this post. Yesterday she listed some of the worst Christmas songs ever written. I thought it was such a funny post because Alan and I have been making a similar mental list for years now. So, this post might be somewhat of a rip-off of Katie's post (sorry, Katie), but we will add some more insights as well.

10. "Santa, Buddy," as sung by Michael Buble--I really like Michael Buble's Christmas album, but this song is just trying too hard to be witty.

9. "The 12 Days of Christmas"--As my brother says, this song is only sung because someone needs to fill up the last 20 minutes of a Christmas album.

8. "Christmas Time is Here" (the opening song on Charlie Brown's Christmas)--Is this song supposed to make me feel happy inside? It actually has the opposite effect.

7. "The Friendly Beasts"--The only recording I have actually ever heard of this song is on the Brian Stokes Mitchell/Tabernacle Choir Christmas album from a few years ago, but I guess I don't appreciate the animal impersonations. Watch the video here.

6. "The Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth," as sung by the Dynamic Duo Bing Crosby and David Bowie--If you have heard this, you will know what I mean. Also, a lyric flaw: what do newborns like better than to have a loud, annoying drum banging in their ears?

5. "Hey, Santa"--We hate this song mostly because they leave out the "t" in Santa. "Hey, Sanna! Hey, Sanna!"

4. "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time"--Love ya, John Lennon, but this song just has a totally lame sound to it.

3. "Grown-up Christmas List"--While I appreciate the good intentions this song has, it is sooooooo cheesy.

2. "Last Christmas I Gave You my Heart"--Nothing captures the Christmas spirit quite like a self-pitying break-up song.

And the #1 Worst Christmas Song Ever is....

"Christmas Shoes"--Why isn't the little kid in this song home with his/her dying mother instead of at the store buying new shoes for her that she will never wear? This is a terrible song--such cheesy sentimental nonsense.

Honorable mentions:

• "My Favorite Things"--I don't actually hate this song (I rather like it), but who decided that it was a Christmas song?
• The Charlie Brown theme, "Linus and Lucy"--ditto
• "Do You Hear What I Hear?"--There is a major flaw with a few of the lyrics in this song. "A Child, a Child, shivers in the cold," and what should we do to remedy this unfortunate situation? I know, "Let us bring Him silver and gold!" Yeah, that ought to do the trick! Forget about the blankets!
• "Little Saint Nick," a song by the Beach Boys, contains the lyrics, "Christmas comes this time each year" over and over again. Very insightful, Beach Boys.
• Alan's personal favorite stupid lyrics come from the song "A Marshmallow World" (although we like the song in general). At one point the song says, "And the sun is red like a pumpkin head." As far as we can tell, there are three major flaws with this sentence: 1) No, the sun is NOT red. 2) Pumpkins aren't red, either. Not usually, anyway. 3) What on earth is a pumpkin head?

Feel free to add any others we have missed to our comments. :)