3. Out of the Mouths of Babes

• After Evelyn tooted, she covered her diaper with her hands and said, "I'm plugging mine bum."
• Before Evelyn's nap the other day, she and I walked around the house for about 10 minutes looking for her favorite blanket. She started to cry a little and said, "We're NEVER going to find it!"
• Maggie is pretty good at reading and also likes to try spelling words: "elfnt, grraff, frzen."  However, she almost got "windoo" correct, and she always gets 3-letter words right.
• We told Jared that we bought tickets in advance to go see what Jared calls "Star Wars...Episode VII...The Force Awakens" (with pauses) next month. He asked, "Now which of the three levels of theaters are we going to? The top level like the Cinemark, the middle level like the Water Gardens, or the bottom level like the 'sticky shoe?'" He and Alan joked that it was like the Celestial Kingdom, Terrestrial Kingdom, and Telestial Kingdom.  Actually, the sticky shoe is more like outer darkness.  :) Don't worry, we got tickets to the Celestial Kingdom Theater.  
• Alan was trying to have Maggie explain to our home teachers about our method of having the kids listen to General Conference--we provide a list of churchy words that they are to listen for, and if they hear one they can pick a treat.  Well, Maggie knows just the right things to say--she told the Home Teachers that she listened to ALL the General Conference words, not just the special words.  And when Alan asked her what happened after she heard a special word, Maggie said "I felt the Holy Ghost" (rather than saying, "I get to pick a treat.")
• Here is a note from Maggie that she wrote here at home after a primary lesson on service: "Der Mom an dad I am gwwee to srv yw by meken duzrt." Translation: "Dear Mom and Dad, I am going to serve you by making dessert." 
• Jared recently wrote a report on snails for school that started, "The answers to snail mysteries lie here." 
• Jared wrote a report on at the end of 2nd grade on octopuses. Here are a couple of word-for-word snippets with grammatical and punctuation preserved from the original manuscript: "Octopuses have multiple defenses. It can camouflage itself by changing color or texture. It can also sting and give you a poison bite that can kill a baby. However, its most used and well-known defense is its pitch-black ink spray. This defense confuses its predators for a brief amount of time so the octopus can make a clean getaway." Also, "Their largest and most dangerous predator is the whale. A whale has a big mouth, but an octopus has its defenses. So, a whale tries to eat the octopus, but, the octopus stings and the whale howls in pain this is why people say 'don't mess with an octopus.' "
• Today, for the first time, Maggie stuffed her chest (as all little girls will do at some point). However, she used a yo-yo and only stuffed one side.  She kept saying to me, "Mommy, did you know I grew a breast?" Yup, just one.