6. Out of the Mouth of Babes

• Jared had to write a persuasive essay, and he chose the topic of "Why Harry Potter is the best book series." Please enjoy this short excerpt from his essay: "Some people say they don't have time to read Harry Potter because they're too busy playing video games. I say just make time to read. I mean seriously people, video games may be fun, but they're not good for you. Every once in a while, turn off the devices and go do something else." I think it's an awesome, though rather self-congratulatory, essay. The thing that makes it hilarious is that he himself plays video games! I mean seriously people.
• Maggie and Evy are obsessed with their stuffed kitties. Evy has two: Snowy and Stripes. Maggie likewise has two, and she has named them Snowy and Stripes -- to avoid confusion and ambiguity. I have caught them in the act of changing said kitties' diapers -- using real diapers, though, not real cat poop. 
• One night, when Rachel and Justin were babysitting our kids, Evy misplaced her favorite kitty, Snowy, right before bed -- a deal breaker. Rachel asked a nearly inconsolable Evelyn what was wrong: "I don't have Snowy!!!" "Do you know where she is?" "Yeah!" "Where is she?" "Gone!" Snowy was not, in fact, gone. Rather, she was safely in bed right where Evy had left her.
• Does the leprechaun visit your house on St. Patrick's Day? Well, it visits ours. I'm not really sure why, but Jenny somehow set the precedent one year when she invited the leprechaun to leave a trail of chocolate coins from each child's bedroom door. Our kids have gotten creative in their methods for attracting the leprechaun to our house every March the 17th: they gather every green object (apparently, leprechauns like green) that they can lay hands on and make a pile right in the middle of the living room. The leprechaun is then lured to our home, at which point he leaves a trail of treats for the kids. This year there was a twist: A friend at school informed Maggie that the leprechaun often needs to use the bathroom during his visit, but that he is unable to flush the toilet because he's too small. As a result, he leaves green urine in the toilet bowl. So Jenny and I set another wonderful precedent this year by placing a few drops of green food coloring in the toilet. Yep.
• In a moment of overzealous generosity, Maggie shared with a neighbor friend half of the eight chocolate coins that she had gotten from the leprechaun that morning. Not only did she give one to the friend, but her generosity knew no bounds, and she also gave the friend one for each of her siblings. She inevitably experienced donor's remorse later that day and told Jenny that "I kind of miss those chocolate coins!"
• When we ask Evy what she wants for breakfast, she will often reply "cat food." Sometimes she mixes it up and replies "fish food." I'm not sure whether there's really a difference. She really just wants cereal.
• Jared got a "splat ball" about a year ago. This is a ball, vaguely resembling a water balloon, that you can throw really hard on the ground so that it will splat and then resume its original shape. Jared's first splat ball, a special thing for a boy of tender years, looked like a giant bloodshot eyeball. The splat ball inevitably splatted its last splat and did not resume its original shape. Jared was so broken up over this, that he actually wrote an epitaph for his splat ball! He drew a picture and wrote the date on which his eyeball met its untimely end. Well Santa Claus gave Jared two new splat balls for Christmas: one of them a smiley face and the other --  you guessed it -- an eyeball. The funny thing is that he will not, under any circumstances, play with the eyeball one. Instead, he has kept it in mint condition in the package so that it will not meet a tragic end like the first version. 
• Jared's teacher was giving away a poster or some such prize to the kid who could guess the number that she was thinking of between one and 20. Jared chose the rather strange number 17. That actually was the number that she had picked, so he won the prize. He promptly told her that he had read in a trivia book that the most common number that people choose when thinking of a number between one and 20 is ... 17.
• While staying in a yurt in Goblin Valley State Park this past week, Jenny and I commented on how big his appetite was during one of our meals. He commented that he was "going to eat you out of house and yurt."