7. Out of the Mouths of Babes

• When Maggie was being wheeled away to surgery during her recent appendectomy, she very bravely informed the nurses and doctors that "I didn't even cry when I got my flu shot." I'm sure they were relieved to know that they had a veteran on their hands.
• Jared commented that it's "definitely not a walk in the park to have your appendix out."
• Pregnancy-related items:
• Maggie asked whether the baby would be born with clothes on. Nope. 
• Maggie asked whether the mommy ever gets to take a nap during the labor and delivery. "Then the mommy would wake up and say, 'Hey, why is my baby out already?'" Yes, if only it were that easy. 
• We explained that Jenny would be in labor for at least a few hours, that it's very hard work, and that Jenny would have to push to help get the baby out. When Jenny further explained that she would be sore for a few weeks, Evy literally started crying: "I don't want to have a baby! I don't want a sore bottom!" 
• Evy did something mildly mean or annoying to Jared, and he commented that she had "turned to a life of bullying." He made it sound like she was already well down the path toward a life of crime and prison.
• I was recently teaching my brothers and sisters how to play a new card game, and I was explaining the concept of a trump card. Jared took that opportunity to tell the following joke, which he made up on the fly: What's a trump card? It's when the cards come to life on the table and say, "It's gonna be huge!" (You have to imagine the cards saying this in a little kid New York accent that was a pretty good impersonation of The Donald.)
• Please enjoy this adorable poem that Jared wrote Jenny for Mother's Day:

• Most amazing mom
• Oh, I love you!
• Teaching me piano
• Happy all the day
• Each day, you smile
• Really amazing

• Dragging sadness down
• Each day, you are my mom
• Amazing person
• Reaching to my heart

• When Jenny told the kids that we were having potato bar for dinner, Maggie exclaimed, "Potato barf!? What's that?"
• After the kids and I got back from a hike to Donut Falls, Jenny asked Evy if she had had a fun time. "Yes, but the pit toilets were very, very, very, very scary!" They were so scary, in fact, that I could not convince her to go, so she held it the whole time we were on the hike and the whole drive back!
• We've recently discovered the yummy cakes at Nothing Bundt Cakes. They also have miniature bundt cakes called bundtlets, but which Maggie calls bumplets. 
• Evelyn always yells at me when I try to kiss her when I haven't shaved for a couple of days:
  "No! You have a scratchy face!" I was then joking with Evy and Maggie that they had scratchy faces too. Maggie patiently explained to me that she did not, in fact, have a scratchy face. "When I'm a mommy, I'll just have scratchy legs, but I won't have a scratchy face."
• Maggie learned this lesson tonight: don't ever grab your little sister's hand and bend her fingers backwards to test whether she's double-jointed.